Barney

Do you remember Barney??? My sister was in love with that evil creature. I think she had every single Barney video ever made. I'm pretty sure that my whole family wanted to kill Barney after the first showing of an episode let alone the 20 millionth of the same one. However, it kept Nikki occupied. I even think my youngest sister was into him too. I don't really remember. I hope Taliya escaped that hideous purple creature. Of course, even if she did, she probably found some other hideous creature (we all hate, as adults) to watch.

I've been thinking a lot about Barney lately. However, it's not the purple dinosaur I've been thinking about though. I had a friend in prison named Barney. His name was actually Daniel Barnett but we all called him Barney. Barney was one of 3 people I showered with in prison.

Before your mind goes every which way but right, let me explain. In prison, you shower with no less than 100 people. Most times more. I used to call it the rain room. Most people had the same group of people that they would shower with at the same shower head. We would all share the shower head.

Apart of me thinks it was not only a practical "we share well among ourselves" thing. I think it was a safety thing as well. If anything dropped down, we all had each others backs. We also shared a lot of conversation over the years so "safe" has multiple meanings here. In some way, we felt "safe" around each other. Does that make sense?

Anyway... To this day, when I scrub my beard, I hear Barney's laugh. He used to think it was funny the way I would wash my beard. You had to be there to fully understand why that's funny. That's a weird thing to remember about a person, isn't it?

Barney has to be one of the most amazing people I have ever met in my life. He was extremely good looking. Even the female staff, after being trained and ordered not to, had to take a double look at him. He was one of those people you always saw trying to better his life or other people's lives around him. He took college courses, got involved in hospice programs for other inmates, all kinds of things. He was a person you could talk to about anything. His integrity was off the charts. It always made me wonder what had brought him to that wretched place.

What saddens me about Barney is that (Short of a miracle of God) he will never get out of prison. He had a life sentence. In Pennsylvania, life is just that, life. If there was one person that I would give a second chance it would be him. I would bet on him to make it in society over myself. It's kinda sobering to me that one mistake can take you out of the game forever.

That's how the game is played though. We all have choices to make. I may not like the fact that Barney will never have that chance but truthfully, he chose that. On the other hand, He was soooooo young when he made that choice. Barney is now in his mid to late 30's and has been incarcerated since he was 18 or 19. I wish there was some way to allow the right people to see what I saw. I am convinced that if they saw a shred of what I did it would change their minds and he would walk free.

Regardless, Barney is an inspiration. He drives me to my goal. My goal is to one day build a group home and help change the lives of our youth on a large scale. Until I can financially do that, I will still work with our local youth to help change one life at a time using Barney as fuel. I don't want kids to end up in the same predicament Barney is in now.

What I see in Barney now, I can see in today's youth. The only problem with our youth is just that... They are youths. They don't always make right choices while they are youths. Sometimes the paths they chose lead them so far down the wrong road its hard to see that there is good in them and we think its too late. At that point, we want to lock them up forever.

There is good in them though. If you look hard enough, you can see it. If we work hard enough at loving and caring for each of them, that love that causes us to care will eventually break through. This break through is when we will begin to see the "Barney" manifested in them. I believe it will astonish us to see just how amazing they truly are despite the junk in their lives.

Sadly, there are many Barney's out there. Men and women who are locked up without a second chance. I am a firm believer that legislation in this area should be reformed for them.

Until then... I cry for them. I pray for them.

I love you Barney. I always will. Thank you for all the things you taught me. Thank you for your compassion and love, for helping me to become the man I am today. You are not forgotten.

-Rando

30

So, yesterday, I rode my bike to work. That wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't so long. After MapQuesing it later, I found out it was 10.3 miles. I figured it was between 6-10 miles but my thought was, "I used to do that all the time!" I should also tell you that "used to" was about 12-13 years ago when I was a teenager immersed into high school sports. Call it my ego, bullheadedness or whatever you want, I knew I could do it.

I started out at 6am only to find out halfway down my street that my back tire was flat. Of course, it could have been that with the 235 pounds that was mounted on it, it was crying out for help! Not sure which... Either way, I turned around, found my pump, pumped it up and I was off to conquer this farmland on 2 wheels like so many Mennonite and Amish do around here.

1/8 of the way into the trip, (Mind you, I hadn't even made it out of Ephrata) the thought flashed through my mind that I was going to die. I had visions of someone picking my limp body off the side of the road while an Amishman snikered as he rode past on his Huffy. Then I thanked God for good health coverage and pushed on.

1/2 way through it I thought about making deals with God as if He would give me super human strength or something in exchange for a few more minutes of reading the Bible. I kinda felt guilty about that one knowing I needed to do that anyway so I just asked Him to give me the strength and courage I would need to accomplish my goal.

On the last leg I felt proud of myself. I was almost there! :) Just a few more miles... Then came the hill! This is one of those hills that just incline and curve sharply at the same time. No lie, 1/2 way up it tears, tears folks, formed in my eyes. I was hurting all over but was to prideful and bullheaded to quit. I even thought that very thought as I made it to the top of it. "You got this. You can make it. You're too hard headed not to!"

I eventually made it to work after almost an hour and a half only to realize 2 things: 1) I am not a teenager anymore! 2) The Amish and Mennonites are some tough people!

Being 30 hasn't been all that bad for me yet but I am beggining to learn my limitations. I rode home that nite and had a much better time. Of course, it was downhill for the majority of the trip home. :) Asked about how I felt this morning though... 1 word - OUCH!

Much Luv,
Rando

Simplicity

I've been here in what I like to refer to as Amish country for about a month now. I wasn't too sure how I would like the change from State College. You see, State College is like this mecca surrounded by nothing. There are a million and one things to do in State College but if you desire the country or the woods you could drive 10 minutes in any direction and you will be surrounded by majestic beauty coupled with solitude. That has to be one of my favorite things about State College.

I was driving to Weaver's Machine Shop the other day. BTW, everything around here seems to be called Weaver's! I was passing these Amish people on bikes and buggies left and right. On the buggies were father and son together. Mother and daughter were together on others as well. I began to look around at the tobacco and corn fields and I saw the same. Father and son, mother and daughter... It clicked into my mind that maybe, just maybe, they have it right.

In our crazy society we zoom around rushed to this and that never taking the time to enjoy ourselves or each other. These people don't seem too concerned about time. There are so many who ride bikes. I would think that they would want to be as efficiant as possible and get to their destination quickly. Yeah right! I have never seen such mellow riding in my life! There is no hurry, no rush. How did we get this way? How did we get into a place where mothers and daughters barely know each other and fathers and sons are driven apart, where we scamper to get out of church in order to go on a hike, go kayaking or watch a football game. I see a community that is held tightly together by unity. They work side by side. They grow side by side. They learn side by side.

Two things in American history sparked downfalls to where we are now. the first was the industrial revolution. Men were taken out of the family and thrown into the workplace. For the first time in our history the family unit was separated. Men no longer worked side by side in the fields with their sons. ...And it begun, the run, run, run mentality. It was solidified even further in the 60's by the civil rights movement. The Equal Pay Act ushered women into the workplace in waves. From there we see a total breakdown. Divorce rates and degeneration of our youth rise as mothers and fathers concentrate on careers and earning money instead of home.

Thinking about all this sparks a strong drive in me to want to simplify my life, to become more Amish. I don't want grow old only to grow apart from my family. How do I come to this place? How does life become simpler? Aside from converting and becoming Amish, I have no idea. I just sent an email to my employer complaining because I am being told I can't work the 60 hours a week that I want to work. Even there I get a twinge because my initial thought was to use the phrase "need to work" instead of "want to work".

More and more, I see that my world is just simply crazy and not simple at all in any aspect. I am finding that I am falling in love with this area and the slower pace it holds. Come and check it out sometime. The food is great (and cheap), the people are wonderful and it will remind you that life can be simple.

-Rando