The following post is for The Bridge youth staff.
I was sent a question by Amanda Rutt via Facebook. The question was so good and the answer so vitally important for each of you to hear, that I have posted it here for you to read instead of just giving an answer to Amanda. Questions and comments are always welcomed.
Here is What Amanda asks:
"I was wondering...is it better to be close to a few, or to become good friends with everyone? I just realized that after I left Thursday that there was a few people I hadn't seen in forever and didn't get a chance to talk to them b/c of different other things. I talked with those two gals (Elise and Kia), they are step sisters with Amber (Dakota's ex gf)...anyway, Elise was easy to talk to, but Kia kept to herself...I kept trying to get her to open up, but then Amber needed me (she was having a bad week) and so I felt the need to sit with her and talk to her, and before I knew it, the Bridge was over, and I barely got to talk to some ppl...i dunno what to do now..."First, Amanda I love your heart. This shows me that you take seriously the charge God has given you as it relates to these kids. Thank you.
This is a great question! While it is important to stretch yourself and connect with many kids, especially new kids, it is vitally important to continue to cultivate the relationships that you have been developing over a long period of time.
Think of it this way. To grow in your relationship with God one must spend one on one time with Him so that you may know Him and that He may know you. The relationship is then allowed and will naturally mature and deepen. Each of you have certain kids you automatically connect with. It just clicks and that is important. You may be the only connection that child has to Jesus. As u mature, in Him, it will naturally shine out to them.
I would like us to begin to develop small groups so that each of us starts to connect with a consistent small group of kids even outside of The Bridge. Your relationships don't end at 8:30. They must continue throughout the week. This takes true commitment and time. However, when we do this we see marked improvement in our kids. This may take many forms, even if it's just a note on Facebook or a call to say "hey". It can even look like you and them going out for a Coke. Eric and I will work to develop a system where we can accomplish this because it is that important. I prasie Matt in his relationship with Sean. His efforts have made a huge difference in Sean's life. It's the same with Garrison and I. The most annoying and hard to deal with kids are the ones we must pay special attention to but all are important.
Eric and I desire to help each of you grow into better youth leaders. You are an amazing staff but we all have much to learn. We are here to answer any questions you may have. You even have each other to bounce things off of. Scripture says, "Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." Our goal is to help sharpen you and grow in our relationship to both you and the kids. So, if you do have any questions, concerns or comments, please ask away. No question is a stupid question.
As you develop these relationships we need to remind you that women are to connect and cultivate relationships with the girls. Men, you are to develop and cultivate your relationships with the guys. Anything else would be inappropriate. Stretch yourself as well. Befriend the kid that annoys you most. I had to do it with both Sean and Garrison and God has shown Himself faithful. I have begun to see much improvement in them both. You too will reap the rewards and experience the joy that accompanies seeing a child begin to grow closer to both you and Jesus.
Thank you very much. You all are amazing! We couldn't do anything without each of you. We love each of you dearly.
-Rando n Eric
