The Bridge Staff

The following post is for The Bridge youth staff.

I was sent a question by Amanda Rutt via Facebook. The question was so good and the answer so vitally important for each of you to hear, that I have posted it here for you to read instead of just giving an answer to Amanda. Questions and comments are always welcomed.

Here is What Amanda asks:

"I was wondering...is it better to be close to a few, or to become good friends with everyone? I just realized that after I left Thursday that there was a few people I hadn't seen in forever and didn't get a chance to talk to them b/c of different other things. I talked with those two gals (Elise and Kia), they are step sisters with Amber (Dakota's ex gf)...anyway, Elise was easy to talk to, but Kia kept to herself...I kept trying to get her to open up, but then Amber needed me (she was having a bad week) and so I felt the need to sit with her and talk to her, and before I knew it, the Bridge was over, and I barely got to talk to some ppl...i dunno what to do now..."

First, Amanda I love your heart. This shows me that you take seriously the charge God has given you as it relates to these kids. Thank you.

This is a great question! While it is important to stretch yourself and connect with many kids, especially new kids, it is vitally important to continue to cultivate the relationships that you have been developing over a long period of time.

Think of it this way. To grow in your relationship with God one must spend one on one time with Him so that you may know Him and that He may know you. The relationship is then allowed and will naturally mature and deepen. Each of you have certain kids you automatically connect with. It just clicks and that is important. You may be the only connection that child has to Jesus. As u mature, in Him, it will naturally shine out to them.

I would like us to begin to develop small groups so that each of us starts to connect with a consistent small group of kids even outside of The Bridge. Your relationships don't end at 8:30. They must continue throughout the week. This takes true commitment and time. However, when we do this we see marked improvement in our kids. This may take many forms, even if it's just a note on Facebook or a call to say "hey". It can even look like you and them going out for a Coke. Eric and I will work to develop a system where we can accomplish this because it is that important. I prasie Matt in his relationship with Sean. His efforts have made a huge difference in Sean's life. It's the same with Garrison and I. The most annoying and hard to deal with kids are the ones we must pay special attention to but all are important.

Eric and I desire to help each of you grow into better youth leaders. You are an amazing staff but we all have much to learn. We are here to answer any questions you may have. You even have each other to bounce things off of. Scripture says, "Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." Our goal is to help sharpen you and grow in our relationship to both you and the kids. So, if you do have any questions, concerns or comments, please ask away. No question is a stupid question.

As you develop these relationships we need to remind you that women are to connect and cultivate relationships with the girls. Men, you are to develop and cultivate your relationships with the guys. Anything else would be inappropriate. Stretch yourself as well. Befriend the kid that annoys you most. I had to do it with both Sean and Garrison and God has shown Himself faithful. I have begun to see much improvement in them both. You too will reap the rewards and experience the joy that accompanies seeing a child begin to grow closer to both you and Jesus.

Thank you very much. You all are amazing! We couldn't do anything without each of you. We love each of you dearly.

-Rando n Eric

Oil Fields

It has been a long time since I posted anything. I think for my new kids at The Bridge that needs to change. Rando's Head was created to share my thoughts and perspective on life. Whenever my mind piqued on something, I wrote about it. I think I just need to make this my online journal, something to process my day instead of making it a place to write about random deep thoughts. I want my kids to be able to get into Rando's Head so I guess all I need to do is to write.


Today was my second day working in the oil fields up near Williamsport, Pa. I am helping to lay out a pipeline for water that is to be shot into a oil drill to fracture the shelf and get the oil. I have to tell you that this work is by far the most physically intense work I have ever done. If I remain in this job, I believe I will lose the 50 pounds I wanted to lose very quickly. I say "remain in this job" because apparently there are a lot of people who cannot hack this job. After the past 2 days, I can see why.

The rain has us bogged down now halting our work. I have been holed up in motel most of the day. We had to end a 11am because of it. Work is halted for tomorrow as well. I am not looking forward to another day of laying around doing nothing especially when my dogs are at home missin' me not to mention wifey. Its kinda hard to be away from home but I am working with a bunch of Texans who are really cool guys and lighten the atmosphere with their southern sense of humor which makes life just a bit easier. There is actually one man named "Bubba" and he even looks like a Bubba at about 6'7" and 300 plus pounds... Yeah, definitely a Bubba. :) I love the twang in thier accent and it is already starting to rub off on me. I love a Texan accent! If I could download an accent into my voice by paying a monthly fee (You know, like a ring tone) I would get a Texan accent.

Well, that's it for now. Oh one more thing... All day I have had my bible by my bed. Not once have I touched it. I have thought several times to pick it up, yet each time have come up with excuses and other things to do. That being said, I'm gonna go do some reading, maybe you should too.

Later,
-Rando
#'s 6:24-26

Barney

Do you remember Barney??? My sister was in love with that evil creature. I think she had every single Barney video ever made. I'm pretty sure that my whole family wanted to kill Barney after the first showing of an episode let alone the 20 millionth of the same one. However, it kept Nikki occupied. I even think my youngest sister was into him too. I don't really remember. I hope Taliya escaped that hideous purple creature. Of course, even if she did, she probably found some other hideous creature (we all hate, as adults) to watch.

I've been thinking a lot about Barney lately. However, it's not the purple dinosaur I've been thinking about though. I had a friend in prison named Barney. His name was actually Daniel Barnett but we all called him Barney. Barney was one of 3 people I showered with in prison.

Before your mind goes every which way but right, let me explain. In prison, you shower with no less than 100 people. Most times more. I used to call it the rain room. Most people had the same group of people that they would shower with at the same shower head. We would all share the shower head.

Apart of me thinks it was not only a practical "we share well among ourselves" thing. I think it was a safety thing as well. If anything dropped down, we all had each others backs. We also shared a lot of conversation over the years so "safe" has multiple meanings here. In some way, we felt "safe" around each other. Does that make sense?

Anyway... To this day, when I scrub my beard, I hear Barney's laugh. He used to think it was funny the way I would wash my beard. You had to be there to fully understand why that's funny. That's a weird thing to remember about a person, isn't it?

Barney has to be one of the most amazing people I have ever met in my life. He was extremely good looking. Even the female staff, after being trained and ordered not to, had to take a double look at him. He was one of those people you always saw trying to better his life or other people's lives around him. He took college courses, got involved in hospice programs for other inmates, all kinds of things. He was a person you could talk to about anything. His integrity was off the charts. It always made me wonder what had brought him to that wretched place.

What saddens me about Barney is that (Short of a miracle of God) he will never get out of prison. He had a life sentence. In Pennsylvania, life is just that, life. If there was one person that I would give a second chance it would be him. I would bet on him to make it in society over myself. It's kinda sobering to me that one mistake can take you out of the game forever.

That's how the game is played though. We all have choices to make. I may not like the fact that Barney will never have that chance but truthfully, he chose that. On the other hand, He was soooooo young when he made that choice. Barney is now in his mid to late 30's and has been incarcerated since he was 18 or 19. I wish there was some way to allow the right people to see what I saw. I am convinced that if they saw a shred of what I did it would change their minds and he would walk free.

Regardless, Barney is an inspiration. He drives me to my goal. My goal is to one day build a group home and help change the lives of our youth on a large scale. Until I can financially do that, I will still work with our local youth to help change one life at a time using Barney as fuel. I don't want kids to end up in the same predicament Barney is in now.

What I see in Barney now, I can see in today's youth. The only problem with our youth is just that... They are youths. They don't always make right choices while they are youths. Sometimes the paths they chose lead them so far down the wrong road its hard to see that there is good in them and we think its too late. At that point, we want to lock them up forever.

There is good in them though. If you look hard enough, you can see it. If we work hard enough at loving and caring for each of them, that love that causes us to care will eventually break through. This break through is when we will begin to see the "Barney" manifested in them. I believe it will astonish us to see just how amazing they truly are despite the junk in their lives.

Sadly, there are many Barney's out there. Men and women who are locked up without a second chance. I am a firm believer that legislation in this area should be reformed for them.

Until then... I cry for them. I pray for them.

I love you Barney. I always will. Thank you for all the things you taught me. Thank you for your compassion and love, for helping me to become the man I am today. You are not forgotten.

-Rando

30

So, yesterday, I rode my bike to work. That wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't so long. After MapQuesing it later, I found out it was 10.3 miles. I figured it was between 6-10 miles but my thought was, "I used to do that all the time!" I should also tell you that "used to" was about 12-13 years ago when I was a teenager immersed into high school sports. Call it my ego, bullheadedness or whatever you want, I knew I could do it.

I started out at 6am only to find out halfway down my street that my back tire was flat. Of course, it could have been that with the 235 pounds that was mounted on it, it was crying out for help! Not sure which... Either way, I turned around, found my pump, pumped it up and I was off to conquer this farmland on 2 wheels like so many Mennonite and Amish do around here.

1/8 of the way into the trip, (Mind you, I hadn't even made it out of Ephrata) the thought flashed through my mind that I was going to die. I had visions of someone picking my limp body off the side of the road while an Amishman snikered as he rode past on his Huffy. Then I thanked God for good health coverage and pushed on.

1/2 way through it I thought about making deals with God as if He would give me super human strength or something in exchange for a few more minutes of reading the Bible. I kinda felt guilty about that one knowing I needed to do that anyway so I just asked Him to give me the strength and courage I would need to accomplish my goal.

On the last leg I felt proud of myself. I was almost there! :) Just a few more miles... Then came the hill! This is one of those hills that just incline and curve sharply at the same time. No lie, 1/2 way up it tears, tears folks, formed in my eyes. I was hurting all over but was to prideful and bullheaded to quit. I even thought that very thought as I made it to the top of it. "You got this. You can make it. You're too hard headed not to!"

I eventually made it to work after almost an hour and a half only to realize 2 things: 1) I am not a teenager anymore! 2) The Amish and Mennonites are some tough people!

Being 30 hasn't been all that bad for me yet but I am beggining to learn my limitations. I rode home that nite and had a much better time. Of course, it was downhill for the majority of the trip home. :) Asked about how I felt this morning though... 1 word - OUCH!

Much Luv,
Rando

Simplicity

I've been here in what I like to refer to as Amish country for about a month now. I wasn't too sure how I would like the change from State College. You see, State College is like this mecca surrounded by nothing. There are a million and one things to do in State College but if you desire the country or the woods you could drive 10 minutes in any direction and you will be surrounded by majestic beauty coupled with solitude. That has to be one of my favorite things about State College.

I was driving to Weaver's Machine Shop the other day. BTW, everything around here seems to be called Weaver's! I was passing these Amish people on bikes and buggies left and right. On the buggies were father and son together. Mother and daughter were together on others as well. I began to look around at the tobacco and corn fields and I saw the same. Father and son, mother and daughter... It clicked into my mind that maybe, just maybe, they have it right.

In our crazy society we zoom around rushed to this and that never taking the time to enjoy ourselves or each other. These people don't seem too concerned about time. There are so many who ride bikes. I would think that they would want to be as efficiant as possible and get to their destination quickly. Yeah right! I have never seen such mellow riding in my life! There is no hurry, no rush. How did we get this way? How did we get into a place where mothers and daughters barely know each other and fathers and sons are driven apart, where we scamper to get out of church in order to go on a hike, go kayaking or watch a football game. I see a community that is held tightly together by unity. They work side by side. They grow side by side. They learn side by side.

Two things in American history sparked downfalls to where we are now. the first was the industrial revolution. Men were taken out of the family and thrown into the workplace. For the first time in our history the family unit was separated. Men no longer worked side by side in the fields with their sons. ...And it begun, the run, run, run mentality. It was solidified even further in the 60's by the civil rights movement. The Equal Pay Act ushered women into the workplace in waves. From there we see a total breakdown. Divorce rates and degeneration of our youth rise as mothers and fathers concentrate on careers and earning money instead of home.

Thinking about all this sparks a strong drive in me to want to simplify my life, to become more Amish. I don't want grow old only to grow apart from my family. How do I come to this place? How does life become simpler? Aside from converting and becoming Amish, I have no idea. I just sent an email to my employer complaining because I am being told I can't work the 60 hours a week that I want to work. Even there I get a twinge because my initial thought was to use the phrase "need to work" instead of "want to work".

More and more, I see that my world is just simply crazy and not simple at all in any aspect. I am finding that I am falling in love with this area and the slower pace it holds. Come and check it out sometime. The food is great (and cheap), the people are wonderful and it will remind you that life can be simple.

-Rando

Moving

I'm gonna go on record saying that I HATE moving with a passion! I just moved halfway across the state to Ephrata, Pa. What a chore! What an expense! I can't believe how much it costs to move. Heck with the cost though. I miss my friends. Ya know, the sad thing is that I have a hard time utilizing my friends and support network. I feel selfish in that I use them when I need them. I don't put much effort into building those relationships due to my own issues of trust and such. They remain at arms reach and it really alienates me from them. I desire closeness but do everything I can to push them away in subtle ways. Most of the time I don't even realize I'm doing it.

One of the things I have realized is that without community, I would be dead. I recently learned that the Californian Redwood tree, as large as they are, have very shallow rooting systems. They rely on the other Redwoods around them to keep them up, intertwining their rooting systems for strength. What an awesome analogy! Think about it... Would you be able to survive without the companionship of others? Some may argue that yes they could. I retort with the thought that they would be miserable. For a joyful life we need others to intertwine with, to draw strength from. I am so grateful that God has already started to give me new friends. I spent all day yesterday with a new friend. GG and I accompanied her down to Annapolis, MD to kayak on the Chesapeake Bay. We had a blast getting to know Anne and her adorable dog, Sampson. He was so cute as he stood erect at the bow of the kayak.

Ya know, moving does bite with the hassle of getting everything moved and getting settled into your new house but what doesn't bite is new friends, especially when it is God who ordains these friendships. I am excited about the possibility of making new friends. Pray that I would not push them away but draw them near.

Much Luv,
Rando

K.P. n Chocolate Cheesecake

There is no other way to say this than, one of my best friends is struggling for her life. Kristin Price, KP (as I call her), has Cystic Fibrosis. In the time I have known KP she has battled off and on with this disease. Personally, I think it sucks. I love my friend. She was one of the first people I got to know as I returned home to Calvary 3 years ago. She was also one of the only people I felt that I could be my self with. I felt I didn't have to put up a stained glass masquerade with her as I felt I needed to with most everyone else. She was so "real" and made me feel as I could be the same. I can remember first meeting her at Leadership Advance in January of '06. If I had one word to describe KP, it would be spitfire. We ended up being in the same group and became extremely close from the start. I can remember God saying to me that I need to get to know this girl. So began our friendship.

KP n I always talked about everything. We didn't hold things back. We talked about our failures and successes in every walk of life knowing that God loved us and we loved each other. It was okay if we messed up. It was okay if we succeeded. One of our biggest talks was always about relationships. We sat in The Waffle Shop talking about our current "loves". It was then that our inside joke was born. In pure KP style n humor she said, "Randy, he's like chocolate cake (motioning to one hand) n he's like cheesecake (motioning to the other hand) but I want chocolate cheesecake!" We shared a laugh and for months we joked about different guys potentially being chocolate cheesecake. Then along came Jason...

I wasn't too impressed with Jason the first time I met him. Of course, I am extremely protective of KP so I wouldn't have been impressed with anyone but as time went on I began to realize that Jason WAS chocolate cheesecake. Not only was he just any run of the mill chocolate cheesecake but he was chocolate cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory!

I look back at the past year how they have grown together and it makes me smile. I thank God for Jason. KP deserves a man as good as Jason and he deserves a woman as good as her. As she struggles for her life, I thank God that Jason can be there for her and her parents but feel sad that he has to witness the love of his life experiencing the trouble she is. I know this though, Jason will never regret the time he had with her no matter how much he hurts. You see, a moment with KP and you will be forever changed. I was. Despite the garbage she endures, she is so full of life and it infects you and makes you realize just how precious life really is. I chose the picture above because I felt it captured her life, happy and full of life. I pray that God would give me more time with my friend. But mostly, I pray that others may spend time more time with her because she will point anyone to our loving God by the joy evidenced in her life in the midst of great trials. Thank you, Papa, for my friend.

-Rando